Looks Like Team Rocket's Sucking Up Again!
by Hysteria82
Summary: Jessie and James (Team Rocket) are sucking up to the boss once again.


It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue, the birds were singing and the famous rocket duo, Jessie and James, were working. Quite a surprise, to say the least. But you only pushed your luck so far when your boss has more guns than you have brain cells.   
  
Working today wasn't too bad since they didn't have to worry about being shocked by Pikachu. After all, they weren't trying to steal her.... they were just transporting highly explosive and probably flammable materials. Ash would use Charazard instead.   
  
At least it would add some variety to their current loosing streak.   
  
Unfortunately, their good moods dropped to the same level as their self-esteem when they heard officer Jenny calling them from behind. It figured that she' recognized them the one day they didn't wear their uniforms.  
  
Cursing their luck, they turned around to face the officer.  
  
"What's the problem?" Jessie smiled innocently, hoping that the 'I'm stupid, please pity me' look Ash had perfected during his pokemon journey would work for her.  
  
"You dropped these." Jenny said, looking down at the pile of things the teenagers had lost. "Hey, wait...these look like the ingredients needed to make a bomb...."   
  
  
"um.....no, you see...we're....high school students...yeah, that's it and...um, you know ...um...those potato clocks? We're making one of those..yeah, for the...science fair...or something...but better!" she lied.  
  
"we are?" James asked, earning himself an elbow to his ribs.  
  
"Ow! I mean, we are!"   
  
Officer jenny smiled at them. "Oh, OK. It's good to see young people taking such an interest in education. Keep up the good work."   
  
"Thanks..."Jessie said absently and turned to leave.  
  
"Wait! You almost forgot you nuclear fusion generator!"  
  
"Oh, silly, forgetful me..."   
  
"Now, you two be more careful with your things. I would offer you a ride, but there's been a robbery at the nuclear power plant which I have to check out. Good luck with the project. Bye!" she said and sped off on her motorcycle.  
  
  
After a moment Jessie spoke up.  
  
"James, I think she might be as dumb as you."   
  
James proved her point by nodding in agreement before bending over to pick up the things they had dropped.  
  
This gave Jessie a rather pleasant view, but what James saw wasn't so nice.  
  
"ewwww!" he shrieked and jumped back 5 or 6 feet. Jessie looked down and did likewise, leaving the bag behind.  
  
meowth looked up and frowned at his screaming partners and decided to explain the mass of blood, gunk, and feathers by their feet.  
  
"It is a well known fact that cat type pokemon tend to leave mutilated birds and mice around to show their feeling to their masters. And even dough yous two ain't Meowth's masters, I figured a dead bird would pretty much show how I feel bout yous since you burnt my yarn balls so yous wouldn't have to go out lookin' for wood!" he hissed.  
  
  
"Or ya can take it as a death dreat. Now hurry up, I wanna get back in time for Jerry Springer." he said and dashed off down the road.  
  
"James....move bird so I can get the bag..."  
  
"It's head is missing and its all icky! I ain't touching it!"  
  
  
***  
LATER  
***  
  
  
meowth let out a low pain-filled groan as he dragged himself into the small apartment he and his friends call home.  
  
"hey meowth, what did the boss say?" James asked, not bothering to look away from the TV.  
  
"grrr...aaa...duh..."  
  
"Judging from your current conduction, I guess he was mad about us leaving highly explosive, not to mention expensive, material out in the middle of the road simply because we didn't want to go near a dead pidgey?" Jessie asked during the commercial break.  
  
"Dooo...grs...hack..."  
  
"you know..." she said, turning to her partner, "We should probably figure out some way to make him happy so he doesn't kill us."   
  
"yeah...but can we finish watching blue's clue slumber party first? Please? I wanna see what Blue wants to do..." he whined.  
  
"sure..."Jessie replied and then turned back to the cat pokemon. "Meowth...if you insist on passing out and bleeding, go to the bath room and do it so you don't stain the rug."  
  
***  
LATER  
***  
  
After several hours of useless brain storming, the two teenage rockets found themselves at a strip joint with a semi aware meowth in tow.  
  
"Why are we here? Shouldn't we be doing some major sucking up to de boss right now?" meowth asked as soon as he recognized the place as one of Jessie's and James' favorite spot to waste time and money, which was pretty impressive being that he was currently doped up on enough pain killers to knock out a ryhorn.  
  
The teenagers looked at each other and cursed.   
Unable to come up with a good excuse, they sighed in defeat and continued their quest to find the perfect way to suck up to the boss...without literally doing any sucking.  
  
of course, before they left they had Bruce reserve them a table for later that night.  
  
***  
LATER  
***  
  
"Do you think he'll like this?"   
  
"no..."   
  
"do you think we should bother giving it to him?"   
  
"no"   
  
"Are we going to bother with it anyway since he told us to be at his office in 20 min and we haven't figured out anyway to make him happy other than standing still while he gets his gun out and aims it at us?"   
  
"yes."   
  
"Meowth! Would you please stop bleeding on my new coat." James complained, completely changing the subject.  
  
"Maybe we should drop him off at the Pokemon center before we go."   
  
"Why? We're going to see the boss so it'd be pointless to get him healed. We would just have to go back their after he's done kicking the crap outta us anyways." Jessie replied and started out the door with a tight grip on their last resort.  
  
"good point. but why do I have to carry him? you know the sight of blood makes me weezy..."  
  
***  
LATER  
***  
  
Giovanni had said something...well, screamed something to be exact. But thanks to James short attention span, his mind had drifted off after the first two words that came out of the boss's mouth.  
  
The blue haired rocket had learned over the years that the first two words spoken were the only important ones. The boss always started with one of three two-word phrases: 'Good work'(very rarely heard by him), 'You Morons', and 'Blow job'.  
  
Today's magic words were 'you morons', which meant all he had to do was say 'sorry sir' when he heard his name mentioned.  
  
Jessie and meowth weren't as oblivious as James, so were able to ducked the paper weight that the boss had thrown at them.  
  
"Ouch!" James cried out and rubbed the newly form bump on his head.  
  
After seeing Giovanni reaching for the other paper weight, Jessie decided it was time to use their almost guaranteed to fail plan.  
  
"I'dliketopresentyouwiththisplaquesir." she blurted out quickly.   
  
Giovanni froze after he had read the plaque. And then, to everyone surprise, he went wobbly eyed and pulled them all into a big hug.  
  
James turned as much as he could to face Jessie.  
  
"I thought we weren't doing sexual favors this time..."  
  
Jessie kicked him.  
  
***  
LATER  
***  
  
"I can't believe you think I'm the best boss...I've never had anyone say that, I'm so honored, the plaque is great and so true, like I was saying, what do you think the best thing is about me..."  
  
The two teenagers sipped their beer and decided inviting the boss to join them at the strip club was a bad idea. It sure did take the fun out of things.   
  
Suddenly something very rare happened. James had a thought.  
  
"Jessie...when you said that Officer jenny was as dumb as me...that was an insult towards me too, wasn't it?"  
  
The end.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
